You should rather be grateful for the weeds you have in your mind because they will eventually enrich your practice.
Scripture reading last night was fucking awful. My focus was okay, but I just wasn’t gelling with the words. Last week was the Isha and this week was part one of Katha, and I’m not feeling it. Used to be the Isha would really get to me. Now . . . not so much. Except the “Truth is hidden by your orb of gold. . .” part.
It’s so hard to get back into the swing of things when you were never much in the swing of them in the first place.
Shiva’s presence just hasn’t been very strong for me lately, either. There was a period of time where it kind of was. Now it’s just. . . meh. Like, there’s his icon on the table, but there’s no one in it. I guess I’m not in it right now. Things go slowly.
It’s so strange how the Bhakti Sutras touched me so much but there’s not much in the Upanishads right now.
Well, I will keep trying.