The Sound and the Fury

This week, I am utterly exhausted. So it is without further ado I present my BoDO reading, where I asked the usual: “How should I approach the coming week?”

                       Nekhbet

Heru           Mafdet

Serqet      Sekhmet      Renenutet

Nun         Serqet/NN    Aner-en-Rekh   Hehut

Nekhbet is in the Sirius position, so she is the guiding principle of the reading. Nekhbet is the southern protector, nourisher, and mother through annihilation. She is a protective presence. The shine on her beautiful feathers illuminates the path ahead, which would otherwise be quite dark and mysterious. Nekhbet can indicate the gestation of plans , clear-sightedness, and successfully executing some plan.

Right now, my path is very dark. I’m exhausted from work, and things are piling up. I have no sensitivity to anything anywhere thanks to this exhaustion. It’s nice to know that I have a broad-winged vulture watching over me this week not only guiding me, but also picking all the dead bits of energy off me.

I’m not sure there’s anything super specific to pick up from Nekhbet here.

Heru. . . Heru keeps showing up. He’s in a past position that indicates past thought patterns and their influence on the future. He’s sort of a sanity check this week, I think. Even though I’m really fucking lost, the basic thrust of my journey is still on target.

Mafdet is in a future-facing position that indicates actions for the future and where the card modifies and guides energies toward precise ends through conscious direction of the mental and emotional body. Mafdet appeared in this position when I first read the cards back in November. Back then, I saw her as a call to spiritual discipline and pain should my failure be too great. Today, I still see that.

Mafdet is telling me to keep getting on track. Sitting here thinking about Mafdet’s card, she appears almost as a sort of conductor, so Mafdet is pointing me where I need to go. I’d also like to point out the imagery of the prisoners, meaning . . . I really don’t have a choice here. Do it or else.

Together, Heru and Mafdet form the Eye. I sort of feel like I’m Heru this week and am about to get a schooling . . . .

Serqet is in a past-looking position that indicates what compelled me to ask the question in the first place. Serqet is the goddess of the breath and the steady ebb and flow of energy. She is contraction into the self. She is also protection from the poisons of the world. When Serqet appears, it’s a warning that energies are being misused or being directed toward improper ends.

Consciously and subconsciously I know I’m not using my energies the best. I’m frittering them away and it’s causing all sorts of havoc in my daily life. Some part of me knew that when asking the BoDO my question, but I needed Serqet to show up to solidify that for me. I need to get off my ass, get focused, do what I set out to do.

Sekhmet indicates how the energies of this reading interact with one another on the spiritual, emotional, and mundane plane. The BoDO may be asking me to act something like Sekhmet. Sekhmet is the embodiment of both plague and health; rage and peace; pain and joy. She is powerful magical protection, a stern guide, and, pulling from the AO, the best one to learn things like discipline, courage, level-headedness, self-control, etc., from. This week’s energies will best be served if I embody Sekhmet and remember the Dharmic lessons that are being put in front of me daily. I have a feeling my temper may be tested this week, just as Sekhmet’s temper is tested. Do I let the rage flow, or do I stymie it?

Renenutet indicates the flow of my wishes and expectations for the week, or perhaps how the week is going to flow in general. Renenutet is a goddess of fate, so this week some things are just going to be. Not really much in my control. She also indicates good fortune, wealth, plenty, and nourishment of the body and spirit.

Renenutet is kind of a nice card to have in this position. I think I need to spend some time feeding the soul and practicing self-care instead of continuing to spiral into this self-hate I’ve been dealing with.

Nun is in, frankly, sort of a strange place! I’d never expect to see him so far in the past, in a position indicating the past and how it’s still carrying forward. Nun means start from square one. Push it all into the abyss and give yourself a nice, clean, fresh slate. Decisions have far-ranging consequences. He represents a potent beginning, brimming with possibilities.

So I guess the BoDO is trying to remind me that I’m still starting over, given my various freak outs about different things over the past few weeks. I still have this clean slate that I’m working from and it’s still early enough that if I make a couple bad decisions, I can recover.

I pulled Serqet for my next card, so had to pulled Netjer Netjeru. Netjer Netjeru is the BoDO’s wildcard, for better or for worse. You can expect the unexpected, just about anything is possible. I happened to pull this card in a position that indicates how I’ll advance my goals or react to any one situation. Oddly enough, I got a NN right at this very same spot a couple weeks ago. I’m throwing the BoDO for a loop, perhaps, or, as usual with the BoDO, it’s looking at the big picture while I’m asking for the small one.

The BoDO doesn’t know what to tell me here, because depending on how I direct my energies, the week could go one way or another entirely. With Nun as a sort of lingering influence, I sense that something else is building up here and how I choose to direct myself is going to make a big difference in the future. So I need to get my shit together. Even Mafdet says so. It’s so hard, but I’ll do my best. Steady effort is better than sporadic major effort.

I pulled Aner-en-Rekh in the position that indicates the implementation of decisions, the power to do things, and personal action. You’ll notice the “Rekh”, or “Rekhet”. A Rekhet is a person who can act as a intermediary between the gods because of their sensitivity to the divine realm. They can sense spirits in general. They truly know, because they have a special sight, and that’s the point of Aner-en-Rekh.

Aner-en-Rekh is distilled experience, enlightenment, the completion of some great work. She is the alchemist who has finally had success in transformation after much effort and now holds the Philosopher’s Stone. She truly knows. She truly sees. Her actions are efficient and effective because of the depths of her inner sight.

This week, I need to be like a Rekhet, looking deep within myself, observing the ebb and flow of life, meditating on my life. I need to truly know myself and what needs to be done in order to approach this week most effectively. I need to be like a meditative Sekhmet, in a sense.

This week, my actions should be taken with care, with thought, with premeditation. I should focus my energies and efforts like a Rekhet would.

Hehut indicates what to do to reach a decision or a goal, or maybe she’s just telling me how to approach the week. Hehut is one of the Ogdoad, so pretty difficult to understand. Hehut represents eternity, infinity. She represents the ability to transcend time-based limitations, as well as spiritual evolution and transformation.

So this is a tough card to interpret in this particular spot. But I think Hehut is telling me not to get too laser-focused on the week to week. Yes, it’s important, it’s just there are more things that I have to worry about, more things I have to do. I think she’s saying that there are an infinite number of things I can do this week to be more like Sekhmet, to direct my energies, etc.

In sum, I need to make sure that I focus and direct my energies to good use. So no frittering them away on junk, or at least cut way down on that. I need to do some self-reflection and ask myself what “Great Work” I’m trying to accomplish, so I know where to direct myself. I need to remember that I’ve just begun, that there’s still time to fix any mistakes made, and act accordingly. I need to remember to be like Sekhmet when she’s at her best, and I need to keep up with this structure I’ve built around myself.

And you know I have a love,
a love for everyone I know.
And you know I a drive
to live–I won’t let go!

But can you see its opposition
comes rising up sometimes?
That it’s dreadful imposition
comes blacking in my mind?

And then I see a darkness.

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